Authencity vs. People Pleasing:

What is the Difference?

Authenticity and people pleasing are two fundamentally different ways of approaching life and interacting with others. On the one hand, authenticity is about being true to oneself and living in accordance with one's own values, beliefs, and desires. It involves being honest and genuine, even if it means sometimes going against the grain or not being liked by everyone. On the other hand, people pleasing is about seeking approval and validation from others by conforming to their expectations and desires. It involves sacrificing one's own needs and desires in order to be liked or accepted by others.

The pursuit of authenticity is often seen as a more positive and healthy way of living. When we are authentic, we are able to be our true selves and live in accordance with our own values. This can bring a sense of fulfillment and contentment, as we are not constantly trying to please others or hide our true thoughts and feelings. Being authentic also allows us to build genuine and meaningful relationships, as we are able to be honest and open with others about who we are and what we stand for.

However, authenticity can also be challenging at times. It can be scary to be vulnerable and open about our true thoughts and feelings, especially if we fear being judged or rejected by others. It can also be difficult to stand up for what we believe in, especially if it goes against the norm or popular opinion. But ultimately, the challenges of living authentically are outweighed by the rewards of being true to oneself and living a fulfilling and meaningful life.

When we prioritize the approval of others over our own needs and desires, we can end up feeling unfulfilled and unhappy. We may find ourselves constantly trying to conform to others' expectations, even if it means sacrificing our own happiness and well-being. We may feel as if other’s don’t like the real us. People pleasing can also lead to strained relationships, as we may be dishonest or insincere in order to please others. While people pleasing is a survival response aimed to help us fit in and avoid confrontation. Overtime it can take a toll on your mental health. It can cause you to feel trapped and stuck in life without feeling like you have the power to say no or make a choice that is not in the other person’s best interest.

So how can we cultivate authenticity in our lives? One way is to be more mindful of our thoughts and actions. This means paying attention to what we are thinking and feeling, and being honest with ourselves about our motivations and desires. It also means standing up for what we believe in, even if it means going against the norm or popular opinion. Another way is to surround ourselves with supportive and accepting people who encourage us to be our true selves. This can create a safe and supportive environment where we feel comfortable being vulnerable and open about who we are.

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